


Be With Me

by bewithmereylo



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Ben Solo Needs A Hug, Emotions, F/M, I Will Go Down With This Ship, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, IT IS!!!, M/M, My First Work in This Fandom, Poor Rey, Redeemed Ben Solo, So many emotions, We deserved it, also be prepared for the sex scene we deserved in tros, also small mention of suicidal thoughts, also yes i dedicated an entire paragraph to ben solo's hair, but yee, even tho the movie was rated pg13, hehehehehehe, my boy ben deserved a happily ever after and i'm giving him just that, pls be nice, super hype, trigger warning, we fixing jj's shitstorm, we still deserve a sex scene, welcome to slow burn town
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-31
Updated: 2020-01-10
Packaged: 2021-02-27 05:35:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,193
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22041922
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bewithmereylo/pseuds/bewithmereylo
Summary: "'Ben.'Sitting here before her was what she wanted from the day she first saw him on Takodana; Ben Solo, in his most vulnerable form, defenseless. But, rather than wanting to kill him, she wanted to kiss him."I saw a (I think?) canon theory that Ahch-To and Exegol are portals to one another and that the pool on Ahch-To is a direct connection to Exegol, so I'm fixing the ending of TROS based off that theory and give us the one we deserve.  Ben and Rey deserved so much better.
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Poe Dameron/Finn, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 3
Kudos: 77





	1. Wake Up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I listened to Across the Stars, like, violently while writing this chapter. Definitely makes it more emotional and puts you in the story.

“Ben.”

The pounding in Rey’s head was still prevalent from the injuries she sustained, but it was dull compared to the intense beating of her heart. Ben was here. He saved her. He saved her life. 

Sitting here before her was what she wanted from the day she first saw him on Takodana; Ben Solo, in his most vulnerable form, defenseless. But, rather than wanting to kill him, she wanted to kiss him.

And that she did.

Ben was shocked at first, that this girl, no, woman, who had been trying to kill him for months to avenge his fathers death and the countless others he tortured under the influence of Palpatine, loved him back. The shock turned into pure happiness, and he pulled her closer. He wanted to savor as much as this as possible. He could feel himself getting weaker and weaker as the kiss went on. But nothing mattered. The only thing that mattered was Rey’s lips on his and her hands were tangled in his dark curls.

Rey had been wanting to run her fingers through his soft black hair ever since they touched hands on Ahch-To. During that encounter, he had just washed it, as he cared more about his appearance when seeing Rey, since it was the only time he took his helmet off. This time, however, he couldn’t give a care in the world about what he looked like. His hair was matted with sweat and blood and resembled a more grey color than black from the debris, but her hands in his hair was addictive, and he didn't want her to stop any time soon. 

He pulled away first and let out a small chuckle. Ben, the Jedi killer, had fallen in love with Rey, the last Jedi.

"Maybe not the last", he thought.

Ben felt himself plummet to the ground, with Rey making sure he didn’t hurt himself on the way down. He could sense his life fading with every passing second, and soon, he was gone; the only thing left of him was his clothes, still outlined in the shape of his body.

Rey stopped breathing and gripped at Ben’s sweater. She suddenly felt emotions so intense it caused her to cry out. Sadness, longing, depression, and intense loneliness; the emotions Ben had been carrying around with him since he abandoned Luke and went to the dark side. In saving her, all of those emotions were piled on top of the ones Rey had already been bearing. Bringing her back had costed him his life; a life that Rey couldn’t live without. 

Once she realized the situation, Rey stood up, sweater still in hand, and screamed. “Ben! Ben! Be with me! BEN!”

Rey ran around the debris of the arena searching for him anywhere, in any nook or cranny that he could have disappeared to. But he was gone. Just like that. No warning, no nothing. Overcome once again with intense sadness, she couldn’t take it, and collapsed next to half a Sith lords head, letting out sobs she hadn’t heard since her parents left her. 

The other half in their force bond, the answer to her pain, her balance, gone.

Rey let out all the pain she built up from the years without her parents, seeing Han be killed, watching her resistance friends being defeated time after time, and, finally, seeing her other half die right in front of her. But, she was feeling Ben’s as well; having to kill his own father under Snoke’s influence; continuously blocking out all the force bond moments with Rey to protect her; and seeing herself dead on the ground, Ben crawling to her to save her only moments ago. It was more than one person could take. She kept slipping farther and farther into herself until she was in the fetal position on the ground. 

"This is a peaceful place to die", she thought. Rey put the sweater on, to keep Ben with her and keep the draft from the tunnels from going straight through her. 

The cavern became silent when Rey had no more tears to shed. She hadn’t even bothered to grab the lightsabers; what was the point when she was the last Jedi? The emperor was dead and the First Order in pieces; there was no need for Jedi anymore. She chucked a pebble at Palpatine’s throne out of anger when a voice came from the darkness.

"Rey."

She looked up. There in front of her, was who she assumed to be another Skywalker. "Anakin Skywalker", she thought. "Ben's grandfather." The only reason he was so recognizable him was the forgiving gaze Ben had just given her after their kiss. 

“What do you want?” she choked out, her voice gone from crying so hard.

Anakin gave her a shocked look. "This is not the end. These are your first steps, Rey. Your story isn’t over yet. The resistance still needs you. He still needs you."

She perked up at Anakin’s comment about Ben, but then reality hit her once again. “I can’t... go on. Not without him.”

Anakin cocked his head, like a dog when they were trying to understand something. Only, he was confused, and Rey couldn’t pick up on why.

"The force will always be with you, Rey. Always." He disappeared and the light his force ghost emitted went too, leaving Rey plunged in darkness once again.

Rey thought about what he said. She thought about force ghosts and the abilities they could possess. According to Luke, Yoda, his master, showed up almost immediately after dying to attempt to prevent him from fighting Darth Vadar. Ben would’ve showed up, wouldn’t he? The thinking made her head spin. With the blood still oozing from the cut on her forehead, she was surprised that she got this far. 

Then it hit her.

The last comment he said. "He still needs you." Why would Ben need her if he was dead? Also, why didn’t he show up as a force ghost since his body disappeared?

The puzzle pieces began to click. Rey knew what she had to do. 

Ben was alive, and Rey had to find him.


	2. Reunion

The cheers from the resistance could be heard through the windows as Rey carefully landed Luke’s X-wing on the resistance base. Their Jedi hero had returned home. 

As soon as Rey carefully scooted her way out of the X-wing and onto the ground, she looked everywhere for Finn. Finally, she spotted him talking to Rose and Poe, having one arm around Poe’s waist and ruffling Rose’s hair. 

“Finn!” Her voice was still strangled, but it was loud enough for Finn to hear her over the joyous shouting. He started searched above the crowd for Rey, and as soon as he spotted her, Finn sprinted and shoved his way to gather her up in his arms.

She cried out from the pain from Finn hitting her head, but ignored it, knowing she was safe with Finn still alive. Poe then joined in behind her, and the pain grew stronger on her temple, but if they let her go any time soon, she would probably collapse out of pure exhaustion.

“Oh my god, Rey. You’re alive, you’re actually alive! But, you, you were dead, I could feel it, what happened?” Finn searched up and down her face, looking for an explanation.

Rey wasn’t ready to dump the whole Ben Solo thing on Finn just yet, and, thankfully, she didn’t have to. Finn had accidentally opened up her head wound enough that blood started to drip on the ground. Blood ran into her eye and she suddenly felt very dizzy. “Finn... I need...”

Finn’s eye went wide with panic. “We need a medic over here!” He turned back to her and helped her sit on a tree stump. “I’ll help you heal. You’ll be okay, Rey.”

Rey gave him a weak smile and let the medic droid take care of the injuries on her side and head. After a few hours of spraying bacta on what felt like every inch of her body, the medic droid pronounced that “she’d live, not comfortably” for a few days and then be back to normal. The entire time, Finn stayed with her, silent, letting the droid heal her physical wounds and his hand in hers somewhat lessen the mental ones.

It was almost nightfall by the time the medic droid left them alone. Finn leaned back on the tree stump and gave Rey a once over. "You need a shower.”

Rey mustered a small laugh. “I suppose.”

“Do you need help getting there? I can ask Rose-”

“I...” Rey thought about it for a minute. She always denied help, always saying I can handle myself when she, in fact, could not handle herself. So, Rey indulged herself. “I would like that.”

Finn stood up and turned to grab Rose, but something stopped him. He pointed at Rey. “Where... did you get that shirt?”

Rey blanched, realizing she was still wearing Ben’s sweater. Shit. She had the decency to leave the rest of his clothes in the X-wing, but completely forgot about the sweater. Well, she had to tell him eventually, but now was definitely not the right time, or the right place with Finn.

She bit her lip, trying to formulate an answer. “It’s complicated.” Rey decided to poke some fun at Finn hoping to avoid answering the question. “What’s going on with you and Poe?”

Finn opened his mouth to say something, decided against it, and went to retrieve Rose. Rey let the breath out she didn’t realize she was holding and decided that she was going to ask Rose to throw the sweater back into the X-wing after her shower. No one was going to wash that. Not until she found its owner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the lovely notes left on the first chapter <3 y'all are too sweet.


	3. Visitation

“So, Ben Solo is Kylo Ren, which we all know, but Kylo is dead, and now he’s actually... a Jedi? And somehow still alive?”

Rose was towel-drying Rey’s hair while Rey reapplied the bandage on her head. Rose could tell Rey was troubled with happened on Exegol. She felt comfortable enough to confide in Rose about the situation at hand and how to tell Finn she was leaving to find the man who enslaved him and tortured Poe. So far, Rose was understanding, and even offered suggestions, which was the opposite reaction Rey expected to receive. She barely spoke to Rose before this moment, but felt that she would the most understanding of anyone in the resistance. She was right.

“Yes, and no. He disappeared like the Jedi do when they die, but he isn’t dead. I know he isn’t. I can just-”

“Feel it?” Rose joked.

“Sense is probably a better word.” She laughed, and soon her and Rose were doubled over trying to catch their breath. It had been so long since she was able to laugh like this with another woman her own age. Jakku was filled with those from another species and creepy men and elderly women that finding someone as young as her was as lucky as finding BB-8 that day just a few years prior. 

Had it really been that long?

Once Rey recovered from laughing, Rose helped dressed her and Rey did not protest. Rey’s clothes were in the autovalet; she opted to wearing one of Rose’s sleep shirts with green leggings and her boots. She looked at herself in the mirror, her hair down for the first time since her and Ben fought side by side after killing Snoke. _"You mean Palpatine, your grandfather, your belonging...”_ a voice snaked into her head. She ignored it as best as she could and sat on the bed, putting her head between her knees, feeling Ben’s emotions bubble up again. “Oh Rose, what do I do? Finn hears the word Kylo and fires his blaster at the closest person.”

Rose sat beside her and put an arm around her, her eyebrows knit together. “I think... you need to be one-hundred percent honest with him. Whatever happens, happens. You don’t even know where Ben is, so it’s not like Finn can go after him either.”

Rey put her head back up. “I can’t even reach out to him anymore. The only inkling that he may be alive is a ghost of his grandfather telling me very cryptically while I was sobbing on the ground in a Sith temple. Maybe this is all a big sham and I’m just a huge idiot.” Her voice cracked again and she hung her head, not wanting Rose see her weakness.

Rose, knowing better, grabbed a piece of cloth and shoved it at Rey. “It’s like you said: a _feeling_ ; a _sense_ ,” she said, waving her hands comically. Her ability to make a grim situation somewhat positive was wonderful.

Rey chuckled. “Do you even think it’s wise to even seek him out? How do I know he won’t turn again? Ever since he died, I’ve been so overcome with feelings, his feelings, that I can’t even tell what’s his and what’s mine.” This was a question plaguing her mind; Palpatine was dead, and, theoretically, so were the Sith. Who could possibly still have a hold on his mind? Rey couldn’t think of one being in the galaxy, but it was still a fear to her. 

Rose sat there, silently, thinking her answer through. “I think... if he truly cares about, truly loves you-”

Rey’s head whipped up. “I- I _never_ said I loved hi-”

“I was talking about him, you know,” Rose laughed.

Rey started blushing. “Ok, whatever, but, do you think I should go find him? You of all people, I would think would advise me not to, after all the pain he’s given you, and Finn, and Poe...” she trailed off.

Rose stood up to leave Rey to her thinking, then turned back and put a hand on her shoulder. “No one deserves to be alone. Not even Ben.”

******************************

Rey fell asleep shortly after Rose left and slept until late afternoon the day after the Battle of Exegol. She could sense that the day was passing by in her sleep, but in her dreams she was visited by Ben, so she gladly stayed asleep. It felt so real. Whether he was just a dream or actually real, she still couldn’t see where he was. The only reason she woke up was the undeniable growling coming from her stomach.

“Morning, sunshine.” Rose held out her clean clothes from the day before.

“Thanks.” Rey grabbed them and started changing, and then decided against it. She was comfortable with nothing keeping her bound tightly, and didn’t have to go anywhere just yet, so she stayed in it when she went to dinner.

“Thought anymore about... him?” Rose asked on the way there.

Rey looked at Rose, hoping to find an answer, any answer. “What do you think? Truly?”

“Well look who finally decided to get up!” Finn joked as Rey sat down at one of the tables. 

Rey looked at Rose, still wanting her answer, but she was already gone. 

Rey sighed. “I think I was deserving of a sleep like that.”

Rose walked over with two trays and set one of them down in front of Rey. Bread, broth, and water. Rey, while absolutely starving, had barely eaten in days, and eating a big meal would be catastrophic, not only to her but also Rose’s shirt. She picked at the bread before dipping it in the broth and joining in on the conversation.

Finn didn’t ask her any questions about the sweater while others were present, but mouthed ‘We need to talk’ to her. Rey nodded and finished her water. She decided to change her bandages first before talking to Finn and headed back to the quarters.

When she arrived, Rey could tell something was off. The bed looked like someone sat on it recently and her sabers weren’t in her drawers table anymore. They were on the small table occupying the majority of the room, and they spelled a very sad looking _L_. Confusion was starting to settle in, then panic, and finally, thankfully, relief.

Ben was here. She knew it. The door was locked and only opened for Rose, Rey, and the medic droid. Knowing him, something else was out of place that she hasn’t discovered yet. Whether he did this through their force bond or force ghost, he was here, and he was with her. She closed her eyes, trying to reach out to him.

_Be with me._

_Be with me, Ben._

“Rey?”

She jumped at hearing her name. Finn was standing at the doorway, Poe right behind him looking over his shoulder. “You ready to talk?”

Rey swallowed and her dinner threatened to make a reappearance. “I suppose.” She invited the two in, hoping that being in Rose’s room she would show up and mediate the shit storm that was about to happen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay! My bf was visiting so that takes priority! Chapter 4 is one of my favorites so that one will be posted sooner rather than later. Thanks for all the kudos and kind comments :)


	4. The Island

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I couldn't wait any longer to post this chapter since I love it so damn much.

_Ben._

_Wake up._

_Ben._

Drenched in sweat and water, Ben sat up quickly, attempting to take in his surroundings. Wherever he was, it was very bright out. 

_Sunshine_ , Ben thought. _Is this Jedi heaven? Am I dead?_ He tried to stand up when a chill went through him, and he realized he was completely naked. 

_Oh stars._ Once his eyes adjusted to the brightness, he saw where he was; in a cavern underneath a large hole, the sun reflecting off the pool he fell into. 

_Or rather came from_ , a voice whispered in his head.

Ben looked around the cavern for anything he could cover up with. Unless he wanted to create a cloak from rocks and moss, it was a lost cause. He climbed out of the cavern and into the blinding sunlight. Not a cloud in the sky. Ben felt at peace, for the first time since he was a young child growing up on Chandrila. 

Once his eyes adjusted, he observed that he was on an island. Pointed rocks reached out behind him trying to penetrate the sky while the sea lapped at the cliff below him. The hole he came from had dark vines reaching back into it, and Ben thought he heard whispering coming from within. He grabbed a chunk of vines and attempted to wrap it around his waist for the time being. Once he was satisfied, Ben began to explore the island, searching for any sign of civilization. He abruptly stopped when he saw the stone huts and felt a familiarity to them. 

_Rey._

Everything started to come back to him. Palpatine, Rey dying, him sacrificing himself for her. He _died_ , which was why he was stark naked; his body disappeared and his clothes were still on Exegol. He didn’t know where she was; hell, he didn’t even know where _he_ was. Attempting to reach out through their force bond was no use. Who knows how long he’d been out for? 

He tried to push Rey out of his mind and focus on himself for the time being, which proved to be difficult. Reaching the stone structures, Ben peered inside the first two, hoping to find someone, or something, that could help him. But, they were only filled with supplies of some sort. 

The third, however, looked as if someone still lived there. The only inclination it had been abandoned for a long time was the dust that settled on every surface. There was an unmade cot set up in the corner of the room and a fire pit in the center. A table was nestled next to the door with wooden silverware and plates. Finally, Ben found what he needed most: a chest filled with clothing.

Within seconds of ripping the robes out of the box he knew exactly who these belonged to: Master Luke. It felt wrong to wear them, but Ben didn’t have a choice. _Master Luke would understand, right?_

So this is where Luke was in exile. Ben spent over ten years trying to locate him, and now he still couldn't place himself in the galaxy. 

_How ironic_ , Ben thought.

Ben did away with the fancy lengths of fabric draping across the front and opted for just the tucked shirt and pants. While the pants were short on him, he found he needed the belt; he had lost some weight and muscle in the past few days it seemed, and the thought of him being out of it for so long made Ben shudder. 

Ben looked down at himself. An odd sight to see himself in anything but black; the Sith did not allow any other colors as it was easy to blend into the surroundings in black. This change brought back that peace, but then he remembered Rey, and felt a wave of sadness come over him.

Or so he thought.

He didn’t feel, well, anything when he thought of Rey. Just happiness at the thought of her possibly being alive. Maybe a little bit on longing, but usually, when he thought of her, Ben was crushed by not being with her at this exact moment, a curse of their force bond. It was odd, to say the least.

“The robes suit you.”

Ben shot up and reached for a lightsaber that wasn’t there, still having Kylo’s tendencies in him. Standing in the doorway was Luke, a blue aura around him, giving the hut a soft glow. He smiled softly at Ben, who was still in a defensive position. “You may have turned, but you still have a little bit of Sith left in you.”

Ben stood there, speechless. The last time he saw Luke he was attempting to kill him. And there he was, calm, collected, and not seeking revenge on defenseless Ben. 

Ben wasn’t sure if this was more reassuring or worrying.

Luke sensed the unease in him. “Sit with me, boy.” Ben watched him walk to the cot and sit, then joined him a few moments later. 

Ben broke the silence with the question plaguing him since he woke up. “Is Rey alive?”

“Out of all the questions you have, you choose the one you already know the answer to?” Luke laughed out. “You _should_ be asking how the hell you’re even alive.”

Ben thought about his answer before he blurted out something stupid. “Mom.”

Luke nodded. “Her last wish. All she wanted was for you to come back, Ben. Didn’t care how it was done.” He sighed. “At least her sacrifice was worth it.”

Ben looked away. While he couldn’t feel sad or angry, guilt was very present in his emotions. He had so many questions, so many stories to tell Luke, so many apologies he had to give. But all that came out was a heavy sigh as Ben leaned back onto the cot. 

Luke stood up. “Rest.” As he turned to leave, Ben shot up again.

“Wait! How, how do I get off this island? I need to find Rey, let her know I’m alive, I can’t reach out to-”

Luke put up a hand to shush him. “In due time. She will find you.” He disappeared, leaving Ben alone once again.

He felt slightly defeated, but didn’t have time to be anything close to upset as exhaustion finally took over and Ben fell into his first dreamless sleep since he was a child.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I originally wasn't going to include Ben in this story until him and Rey reunite buttttttt once I thought about him showing up on Ahch-To naked af, I couldn't help myself and had to write that in. Also Ben experiencing real sunlight and fresh air? Needed.


	5. Negotiations

Rey asked for peace while she relayed what happened on Exegol to Finn and Poe. She knew it wouldn’t last long with how spontaneous Finn was, but Poe kept a firm grip on his shoulder during her speech. That gesture alone appeared to keep Finn calm, but it wouldn’t last forever.

She was scared to go on with the story after talking about defeating Palpatine and her dying. Rey debated lying, but with knowing that Finn was force-sensitive, he would be able to figure out very quickly that she was not telling the truth. So, instead, she chose which parts to tell and others to lock away for no one but Ben to know.

Rey took a deep breath. “Ben saved me. He brought me ba-”

“Okay, no. There’s no way. You’re lying, you have got to be lying.” Finn shoved Poe off and jabbed a finger in Rey’s face. “There is no way that _monster_ , that Kylo _fucking_ Ren brought you back to from the dead, there’s no-”

“Finn, you said you wouldn’t interrupt me. He has gone to the light! And his name is Ben, his name is _Ben_!” Anger and sorrow started to bubble up in Rey and threatened to burst as Finn continued his rant.

“No! Ren, he manipulated you, used the force on you, there’s no other-”

“ _FINN!_ ” came a shout from the doorway. Rose stepped inside and the door _whooshed_ behind her, sealing the four in. “We’re going to do this Rey’s way. She has been through enough as it is-”

“Oh, so she told you everything, but not me?” Finn turned to Rey. “We rescued each other, been through so much, and you tell Rose, but not me?” 

Rey looked at Poe for a sign whether or not she should continue or abandon the whole situation. He hadn’t spoken up once during the entire exchange. 

“I think Rey should finish and we should respect whatever she says. She doesn’t have to tell us any of this; let her do it at her own accord.” Poe sat back in the chair and gave Rey a look. What prompted the upturned corners of his mouth, only the Maker would know, but it put Rey at ease for a moment. 

She sat down and gripped at Ben’s sweater under the table, which had turned into a tight ball from the anxiety building in her chest. Rey swallowed hard and glanced at Rose, who had an emergency hand near Finn, bracing them both for the next bombshell she was about to announce.

Rey preempted omitting both her being a Palpatine and the kiss; Rose encouraged it. For good reason she realized; as soon as she proposed the idea of him still being alive and her searching for him, Finn shoved Poe away and wrenched Rose’s hand away from his shoulder.

The rage was present in Finn’s clenched fists and flushed face. “No. Absolutely not. As acting general, I forbid you from leaving the planet-”

“Excuse me? Since when did you control my life? Since when did _you_ control who can come and go on this stupid planet?” Rey lashed back at him. She shoved the table away and continued to wring the sweater, determined to make it disappear just like this conversation.

“Rey, he’s a murderer, a Sith lord, a _psychopath_ , and you want to go rescue him from exile? I think a few decades alone will sort-”

“ _This is nonnegotiable!_ ” Tears started to spill out of the corner of her eyes.

“Nonnegotiable my ass.” Finn stood against the door, blocking any retreat Rey would have killed for in that moment. Rose and Poe were locked at separate sides of the room, silently communicating through frightened stares and shaking hands. 

Rey sensed the unease in the two and tried to calm down to lessen the panic rising rapidly in the cramped space. “He is the other half in my force bond. We’re a dyad in the force. I cannot live without him.” Tears and snot covered her cheeks but she couldn’t put a stop to it. "You... do _not_... get a say in my life. Where I go. Who I save.” She held her ground but her legs started to wobble under the growing pressure in her chest. “I will go to him. Wherever he is. I will. And I _will_ bring Ben Solo home.”

Rey could sense the fear in Finn with the utterance of those words. While they did not share a force bond like her and Ben, she could still feel his power growing. He was strong with the force, and, untrained, she could see him going very, very far south. It was more than she could take at the moment. She involuntarily sank to the floor and clutched Ben’s sweater to her chest. 

_Be with me, please, Ben, be with me..._

She felt the dark presence dominating the room begin to lift. Poe had peeled himself away from the wall and was talking desperately to Finn. Rose made her way slowly over to Rey. “Are you okay?”

Rey was incapable of words at the moment and sufficed for a slight nod. She looked at Ben’s sweater. She had ripped it in two different places, but it was still wearable. 

After a few minutes of Poe and Finn whispering fiercely back and forth to one another, Poe walked over to Rey on the ground and squatted in front of her. “Finn doesn’t like the idea, and, frankly, I don’t think it’s the best one either.”

Rey’s hopes began to shatter. She could easily sneak off the planet if need be, but she would be an enemy of the Resistance and wouldn’t be safe in most corners of the galaxy after they snuffed out the rest of the First Order. Her mind went rampant with other options until Poe spoke up again.

“But, we will allow it. On one condition.”

“Anything.”

“You have to bring him back to the base, and he must atone for his crimes. We will decide what that may be later on, but he doesn’t just get off the hook for now.”

While unfair to Ben, it was a chance she was willing to take. When she brought Ben back, hopefully the Resistance, especially Chewie and Maz, would be able to back her up on Ben turning to the light. He had already suffered enough; she didn’t want Finn giving the dark side any advantages.

“Do you have, any conditions or requests?” Poe asked. Finn wouldn’t look Rey in the eyes but he still payed attention to the conversation.

She thought about it for a moment. “I want to take the Falcon.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feisty Finn and big angry Rey... what more could you want? We're getting there folks! Hope you're enjoy the slow burn >:)


	6. Trance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Super soft Ben. I cried twice while writing this.

It was nightfall by the time he was able to reach into the force.

After his encounter with Luke, Ben slept for almost a day. When he woke up to the breeze coming from the cracked door, Ben immediately began to mediate. When he was brought back after Exegol, he was seemingly cut off from his and Rey’s force bond; eventually he figured out he was cut off from the force completely. Ben sat in front of the door to his hut, tucking his legs up underneath him, and closed his eyes. Rain trickled near his bare foot and provided a calm white noise for him to concentrate on. He reached out, physically and mentally, into the force, to try to reach Rey.

_Be with me, Rey. Be with me._

*************

Ben had gone into the trance-like state akin with the Jedi when he finally opened his eyes. The gentle rain had ceased and was replaced with the sound of metal against metal and serious chatter; he was in the rebel base. 

He had done it. When he and Rey had the connection he could never see her surroundings; but now, with the connection damaged, Ben was able to see hers. For how long he would be able to keep the connection, he wasn’t certain of, but he had one task to do while he could keep it active; find Rey. 

As Ben ran down one hallway into the next, he was reminded of when he and Rey had their first force connection and she shot him with his father’s blaster. At the time he was confused and hurt by Rey’s lashing out; now, as he slid into the next hallway, he smirked, missing the days he would drop in and just watch her, observing her. He missed the way that her nose scrunched up when fixing something on the Falcon; the curves of her hips when she fell asleep still in her training outfit after a long day of wielding a saber...

Ben was brought back to his senses when he was forced to dive into the first open room to avoid a Resistance officer. He wasn’t sure if they could see him and didn’t want to find out. He turned towards the door as it _whooshed_ closed. A medical droid was replacing bandages in a drawer and threw one into the air from surprise when the door closed.

It stared at Ben. Ben held his breath in and stared back. A few moments of deafening silence passed before the droid continued its task. Ben didn’t dare move as the droid closed the drawer, took one last look at the room, and silently moved to the door. It made a short string of beeps aimed at Ben, and while he didn’t completely understand their language, he gathered that it was the equivalent of a scoff. 

Ben surveyed the room. His tan robes stood out against the white room and bunks built into the wall. Two were stacked on one another; the top was neatly made while the bottom resembled more of a wrestling match than a comfortable bed. The table was barren and nothing in the room gave him any idea who lived here. He felt defeated and turned to start checking other rooms when he saw something dark peeking out from underneath the pillow in the bottom bunk.

He could feel his force connection wavering as crossed the room to peek at what was hiding in the bunk. Ben didn’t even have to touch it to know it was his sweater, the one he died in. He sat down on the edge of the bed and rubbed his hand over the scratchy sheets, ending on his dirt-covered shirt. He could sense her nearby, but he didn’t have much time left. 

Panic settled in. Ben still had no idea where the rebel base was (ironically) and where Rey was at the moment; he had to make his presence known. He had to let her know he was alive.

He started ripping open the drawers, accidentally stumbling on Rey’s undergarments. Blush crept into his cheeks as he continued his search. He had opened all the drawers, but the sabers were no where to be seen. Had she gotten rid of them already? 

Then a thought occurred to him. Ben returned to the undergarments drawer and shoved the stacks of breast bands aside. _Bingo._ The sabers were shoved into the back corner. He scooped the two up and threw them onto the table, where they rested in a vaguely-shaped _L_. The door to the room _whooshed_ open and Ben got a quick look at Rey while she talked intently to a pilot, completely ignoring the room.

_Stars, she’s... amazing_. Even from a side angle she was absolutely stunning. Her hair was freed from her tight buns and she radiated calmness. Rey had rid herself of her normal tunic and tights and was wearing a loosely fitted shirt and green pants. A bandage encircled her head and her small hands were wrought in concentration. Rey was vulnerable, herself; and Ben wasn’t here to remind her how beautiful she was. 

Ben disappeared just as she turned to go into the room, her name just barely resonating in the silent space.

*************

At some point during his meditation the caretakers on the island brought Ben food. He immediately scarfed it down upon seeing the steam rising from the plate, then proceeded to vomit it right up. It had been days since he last ate such rich food, years since _real_ food. Sadly, in the First Order, delectable dishes were not a priority; if it had protein and could be eaten or drunk in under a minute, it was what the First Order preferred. 

He stumbled outside the hut to get fresh air and saw a blue glowing coming from farther down the hill. Ben assumed Luke, but the air on the island was calm, not as sharp. He prayed to the Maker it was who he hoped it was. 

“Mom?”

Leia did not move from her seated position on the rocks. She let out a soft sigh and bowed her head. “I hope I made the right decision.”

He sat next to her, but kept some distance. “What decision?”

The hard lines of worry in her face were gone; instead, they were replaced by an almost hopeful, youthful glow. She turned to look her son in the eye. “The decision to bring you back.”

Confusion spread across his face with guilt following soon after. “Mom, there’s no way I could-”

“Ever make up for the crimes you committed?” She let out a small chuckle. “Absolutely not. Only a handful of us know it was Palpatine’s doing. The only way they’re ever going to let you live is if you show them it wasn’t you.” She sighed once more. “I had hoped to see my son one day again.” Leia stood to leave and put a hand on Ben’s arm. “Looks like I made the right decision.”

Ben was overcome with joy at having his mother back. He smushed her into his arms and tears of joy soon came flowing out. 

“I love you, mom.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More soft Ben and Bonus! Leia! My space QUEEN.


End file.
